Moving On
by LindsayR
Summary: Post "The Gift" What happens to Buffy and Spike when Dawn dies in the portal. First chapter from Buffy's POV. Second Chapter from Spike's POV
1. The Aftermath

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, etc. own everything.  I own nothing.

Summary:  Post "The Gift"  Dawn died instead of Buffy, so Buffy leaves town with Spike, following through on her statement about quitting if Dawn died.  Her POV while on the road.

The Aftermath

By 

Anessa Ramsey

            I don't know when I realized it. I was standing on the tower, doing everything I could to get to Dawn before the portal was opened, but I was too late.  Glory had injured me too badly to move quickly enough and Spike was tossed off the tower like a sack of potatoes.  Glory had won.  

            Honestly, I don't think I ever truly thought I could beat her.  But I knew I had to try.  That was my job.  I was the Slayer.  But at that moment, all the parts of me that the Slayer inhabited shut down and I was just a sister.  I watched in horror as Spike fell to the ground, his black duster billowing out, not making a sound.  He landed with a sickening thud that let me know that he had broken several bones.  I looked back up at Dawn, tied to the tower, blood running down her legs, the portal open beneath them.  Glory was laughing as she cut Dawn's bonds right before she jumped into the portal, whisking away back to her own dimension, leaving ours to become as hellish as the one she ruled.  

            I was halfway up the steps when I saw Dawn look at me, tears sparkling in her eyes.  I could see that she was sorry it had happened, but there was nothing that could be done.  It was then that I saw him.  The whole time I'd been fighting Glory, I hadn't been paying attention to anything else.  I was now.  

            Xander was up there, speaking to Dawn.  I don't know how or when he got up there, but I didn't care.  He'd help Dawn.  I thought he was trying to calm her down, maybe he was.  I don't know.  But one minute he was talking to her, the next he shoved her into the portal, her dress billowing out, her long, dark hair streaming around her face.  She screamed.  Or maybe I did.  I can't be sure.  What I am sure of is that she was dead and one of my best friends had killed her.  The portal closed and she was gone.  

            The irony of it still amazes me sometimes.  She was the one to leave this world, but when she did, I died as well.  I'm still dead.  One month later and I'm still dead inside.  I may as well be buried in a grave.  But I'm not.  I'm in Seattle, working in a coffee shop until I have enough money to move on.  He is with me, holed up at our motel room until nightfall when he'll go to his bouncer gig at a club downtown.  He's as dead as I am, both physically and emotionally.  

            I never thought I'd have any sort of relationship with him, but I do.  It's strange how the worst circumstances can bring people together, even if it is just for comfort.  I know that it's as bad for him as it is for me.  She was his family, even if it wasn't by blood.

            One day, I know it will end.  I'll wake up and no longer grieve.  I won't stop missing Dawn, but I'll go on with my life.  I'll probably even go back to Sunnydale and take up slaying again.  But now is not the time, nor will it come anytime soon.  For now, I'm just a girl, on the run from a life that destroyed me.


	2. Down the Road

Disclaimer:  Joss Whedon, etc. own everything.  I own nothing.

Summary:  Post "The Gift"  Dawn died instead of Buffy, so Buffy leaves town with Spike, following through on her statement about quitting if Dawn died.  His POV while on the road.  

Down the Road

By 

Anessa Ramsey 

            It's been a month, and here we are, two emotionally crippled beings.  Of course, she's still living, where I am not.  I can see her back rise and fall with each breath she takes as she relives the nightmare that is her life.  She's dreaming of course, but it's always the same.  I know, because she tells me.

            Without words she tells me every day.  When I come back from the club, she grabs me as I walk in and I know that it's happened again.  I know, because the only way for her to forget, even for a moment, is to be with me.  

            I'm a complete wanker for letting her use me.  I'm also a prick for the fact that I'm using her too, although she'll never know it.  I need to forget just as much as she does.  And in her body, I do, for just a brief space in time.  Bloody hell, I'm sounding like William.  

            Dawn liked William.  I used to tell her stories of life as William.  Once I even let her get a small glimpse of what he'd been like when I let her read some of his poetry.  I never told her that it was actually mine.  I can just see her face lighting up as she thinks about what her sister will say when she learns that Spike writes poetry.  That never happened though.  And now it never would.  

            That night, I nearly killed the whelp for what he did.  It took Red and the Watcher to pull me off of him, despite the fact that the sodding chip was turning my brain to mush and I had several broken bones.  I was told to go, that they would take care of Buffy and the others.  I guess they did.  I wouldn't know, because for once I actually listened to them and went back to my crypt.  All I wanted that night was some good scotch and oblivion.  What I never expected was for the Slayer to show up three hours later, a duffel back slung over her shoulder.

            I remember trying to hide the fact that I had been crying.  I cried for Dawn, who had been like a sister to me.  I cried for all the things she wouldn't experience and how it wasn't fair that a good soul like her was taken from the earth, while I, the Big Bad, was left to roam it.  

            At first I wasn't sure why she was there.  It wasn't like she thought I cared about anyone but myself.  But then I understood.  I saw it in those stunning hazel eyes that haunted every bloody dream I had.  She was leaving and she wanted me to go with her.

            I remember asking her why.  What she said floored me.  "You almost died for her.  I trust you because of that."  And, despite my grief, I felt happy at hearing her words.  So here we are, in Seattle for the moment.  We've been on the run ever since leaving Sunnyhell, working odd jobs as we go.  

Even though I love her, one day I know it will end.  I'll wake up and she'll be gone.  The road and I are just a temporary fix, something to help her cope.  When her grieving is over and she comes to her senses, she will go back to the town that destroyed her, back to the job that she was destined to do.  And I will go on, not looking back, but not looking forward either, because when she leaves, my heart will go with her, and I will continue down the road.


End file.
